This is a post way off the “focus” of this blog, however, I felt compelled to share.  I’ve currently been reading The Unlikely Disciple By Kevin Roose.  It is a book about a college student who is majoring in journalism going to Liberty University, an evangelical Christian college, for a semester.  He is ultra liberal but feels compelled to explore the inner workings of one of the largest religious affiliated groups in our country.  My friend Amy-fragmentarie- heard about it on NPR and referred the book to me.  It’s an interesting read regardless of your religious orientation/ beliefs.  Prayer has always been an interesting subject to me, regarding it’s purpose and abilities.  I have often pondered many of the same things the author of this book ponders.  In a quest for answers, he asks one of the Pastors at Liberty who gave him this answer….

“‘God is our father, and we are his children.  How would you feel if your children didn’t talk to you?  A relationship with God isn’t a one way street.  God wants us to ask for things, even if he already knows what’s going to happen.  We have to supplicate, to put ourselves in his will.’  His second point was even better. ‘Prayer may not always be entirely about God,’ he said.  Here, Pastor Seth quoted the famous Christian author Oswald Chambers, who wrote: ‘It is not so true that prayer changes things as that prayer changes me and I change things.’  ‘When you pray for other people, your own heart will be transformed,’ Pastor Seth said.  ‘You’ll find yourself living for others, making decisions with others in mind, putting the concerns of others ahead of your own.  It’s a way to connect to other believers in the way God wants you to connect.’”

Enlightening.  This is the first time I have been shown prayer in this context.  Growing up in a ultra conservative family myself who regularly attended church; I was always taught that prayer is how you change things, how you deal with situations, and find answers.  Many times I felt that prayer was put in the place of action, which often frustrated me.  ex. You can pray to pass an exam, but unless you study you will fail.  In this answer, prayer is seen more as an exercise and a way to connect with others, and not so much God. Later in my life, I have often seen prayer as a form of meditation.  It is the concentration on a particular subject, power, enmity, situation for a prolonged amount of time, much like meditation.  The author of the book decides to start praying by the “Liberty’s Way” thirty minutes a day.  He reported seeing a huge difference in his own life due to prayer putting many of his problems into perspective.  He would pray for all of the prayer requests that were daily emailed out to the students, by doing so he realized how small his problems often are becoming more selfless as he continued.  Just food for thought.

My apologies for the unmentioned hiatus.  School rendered me useless taking up all of my free writing time/ inspiration.  It is almost over, however, and I hope to return to a more frequent blogging schedule.  So much has happened this month.  Family came and went, school, work, LIFE.  I fell behind on my new found exercise routine but hope to also get back into my routine this week. 

All things considered, I still went to my normal appointment with my doctor concerning my ADHD.  While talking I asked a couple of more questions that had been plaguing my mind regarding future expectations.  I was told this was a life long diagnosis; there is no cure . I knew this, yet still felt the knife slice cleanly through my stomach.  I have known this for some time, yet something  in me would let me accept it and still won’t.  Blessed with a doctor who doesn’t ADHD as a disorder but more as an alternate way of thinking coinciding with my own views; I have decided to not accept this.  I know there are ways around it, tips and tricks to deal with it, and blessings from it.  The mind is stronger than we give it credit.  I denounce a lifetime sentence and look forward to a lifetime of possibilities.

P.S.  Is it my imagination or is this the year of death?  ie.  Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Bea Arthur, Ed McMahon ect….My friend (fragmentarie) believes this is due to an odd numbered year.  If this  is the case, I look forward to 2010.

“There is a time in every man’s education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe full of good, no kernal of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till.  The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson