Top five things I wish I would of known before adopting a puppy:

5. Supplying stuffed animals roughly the same size as your puppy will ensue humping.

4. Vet bills. Is that a BMW, Mr. Vetrinarian?

3. Puppy ADHD. He wants outside, inside, on the couch, off the couch, in your lap, in your face, up and down then around all within the last final clincher of your favorite show. Not engaging him may result in more pooping/peeing although you took him out just 15 minutes ago. It seems any drop of liquid can induce piddle, even his own slobber.

2. Dog farts. You would swear on your life he pooped himself; a smell that comes out of a puppy so small it could be considered a phemenon.

1. How quickly you fall in love..

The lovely, cardigan weather contradicted Jimmy’s mood as he went over his fact list.

 Fact #1- Fred used to be a inks bum.

 Fact #2- Fred has easy access to ink given he was a printer.

 Fact #3- Fred had a smear on his person/ printer at the time of his arrest.

 Fact #4- Sue the Pencil Sharpener had a great cord…

Fact #4- It was very crowded at the party, where known ex inks bums and the like were congregating.

 Fact #5- Fred was in a good relationship theoretically, making his emotional state primarily stable and happy.  So why would he need to return to his dark addiction?

 As Jimmy contemplated the last fact he spotted Ethel conversing with Doris. “At least something good came out of this”, Jimmy said to himself as he tried to think of more facts about the case.  Jimmy decided that he would have to start interrogating the witnesses if he was going to really crack this case.  He decided to interrogate Sue first since this would give him an excuse to see her again.  As he headed over to Sue’s he couldn’t help but notice the odd, painful expression on Doris’ face.  He put the thought aside, figuring it was normal given her best friend was in the bin…literally.  Finally reaching Sue, Jimmy decided not to waste any time.  Sue giggled over his overly professional and intense mannerisms as he started to initiate the interrogation.

 ”Where were you the night of Fred’s arrest?”

 ”I was with you, silly.  I was your date to the Power Surge.” 

 Jimmy smiled to himself as he thought of the way Sue looked the night, but quickly regain his composure… this was serious.

 ”Was there anything out of the ordinary?”

 ”Well, Fred got arrested.”

 ”We know that, but is there anything else that you can remember?” Jimmy responded looking more and more visibly frustrated.

 ”Not really.  I just don’t understand why they would arrest Fred when there were four other people there with smears.”

 ”Four?”  Jimmy questioned.  “I only remember three.”

 ”Yes.  Three.  I am sure of it.  There was… Frank the Fax, Barb the Monitor…umm… Joey the Stapler remover…” 

 Jimmy winced at the last name.  Joey was his fraternal twin; he hated him. 

 ”and…” Sue paused, enjoying the excitement and make Jimmy wait.  “Doris”.

To be continued…

The make shift jail cell, which used to be a storage bin, was cold and damp.  Fred replayed the night in his head trying to come up with an explanation; anything to justify his false imprisonment.   As he lay there, among the worst of Electroville, he thought of Ethel’s and Doris’ faces as they dragged him away from the Power Surge.  He sighed as he wondered if either would ever be able to forgive him… He found his emotions and thoughts lingering on Doris, and contemplated what this meant for him. 

Jimmy made his way to Fred, signing in for visitation.  “Fred! What happened?”  Fred told Jimmy his long sad story of Sally and his old addiction.  He swore he quit, but after hearing these news of Fred’s old ways, Jimmy’s view of Fred began to change.  How could Fred not of told him sooner?  He had seen the old has-beens, sitting dusty and miserable in piles hoping for just one more drop of ink.  He was thankful Fred never got to this point..but Jimmy was confused.  He left the jail cell full of thought and rushed back to Sue for comfort and advice.  Should he continue his quest to free Fred?

Doris’s bulbs beamed light red through the tears, as she quickly wiped them away to avoid rust, and electrocution.  She leaned against her cubicle wall as she watched Jimmy on his new mission to free Fred.  If he only knew what she knew; Fred would be free instantly.  Why was she hesitating?

 Ethel kept busy cleaning and dusting.  He mind often veering towards Fred, no matter how hard she tried not to let it.  She decided to head over to Doris’.  Once enemies, Ethel felt close to Doris, even though she didn’t know if Doris felt the same way.  They had a mutual affection towards someone that had been torn away like a paper being torn out of a typewriter.  Ethel approached Doris, relieved that she was received kindly.  She had to let it out, so she talked to Doris about her thoughts, their relationship, and everything she had ever kept secret.  She felt so relieved, as if a one of the “Big Ones” had come in and maintenance her themself.  Laughing and talking like old friends, they peered across the fluorescent lit carpet.  “Ethel”, Doris said quietly, “There is one more thing….”

To be continued…..

It all happened so quickly.  The Projectors, Electroville’s police force, forced their way into the crowd, bent two antennas, until they finally reached Fred.  “Fred the Printer, you are under arrest for suspicion of ink smearing and dealing”.  The Projectors whose purpose was to “Project and Serve”, spreading light upon the truth and for all to view; were never a force to be reckoned with.  Fred cried, “There’s been a mistake!!!  I am clean I swear!  Please Doris, believe me! Ethel?”  The two were too stunned to speak, sharing the same riveted faces painted white. 

 Jimmy and Sue could be seen hiding behind some filing cabinets, watching the scene.  “I see the smear on Fred!” whispered Sue, and it wasn’t long before Jimmy spotted it too.  Jimmy also spotted it on Joey the Fax, Mary the Monitor, and … Doris?  He could barely make out the small dot, but there it was.  Was someone framing people?  Was there an undetected spill?  Jimmy couldn’t be  sure, but he was going to find out.  “Sue, they need me.  I am going to investigate”.  “No”, cried Sue, “Not with Joey the Fax, he is known for being ugly.  None of his pages ever come out neatly.”  “I’ll be ok Sue. I promise.”  And off went Jimmy, into the strobe lights and streamers; despite his new budding romance with Sue.  He was starting to care for her in a way that went far beyond pencil shavings and clattering staples. 

 After the two had time to let the scene become their reality Doris felt the tears begin to fall.  Ethel quietly began to walk away, then turned.  “It has to be a mistake, Doris.  Fred is too good for that.  I know it!”  Doris just shook her head and followed Ethel down the corridor.

To be continued…

As Ethel finished up polishing her screen, she thought of Fred.  She was starting to have real feelings for him; he was different from the other machines.  She saw depth in this print, and felt secure around him.  Ethel never had to fight for attention, and over time it became a game for her.  She secretly longed to be one of the other machines, making such pretty images and pages.  All she did was copy their works of art into her mind to send to other machines, how… unoriginal. If it hadn’t been for her color ink cartridges, she probably wouldn’t even be the center of attention.  She needed this attention now; for this was all Ethel knew, equating it with love.  As Ethel turned she caught sight of Doris talking to her Fred.  Doris was already the beloved of all the other appliances here, why must Doris take her beloved?  She hated Doris, she wished she could be Doris.  Doris, however, is too shy and quaint to be as provocative, and Ethel knew it.  This was the reason why Ethel occupied Fred’s heart.  She headed over then in a fury to mark her territory, “Hey Doris, Hello Sweetheart!”  Ethel quickly touched her feeder to Fred’s.  She was interrupting…. “Good”, she thought.  She paled however, when she saw the glint in his screen, and…. was that an ink smear? 

To be continued….

Tonight was the party and everyone was hustling about, shining up their screens and buttons. Everyone was going, even the staplers, even though everyone knew they weren’t REAL appliances, but no one has the heart to tell them. This was the day, Doris decided, to tell Fred her true feelings. There would never be such a perfect chance as the Power Surge Dance. The power surge protectors threw them every year to keep morale high and the energy flowing. Ethel and Fred were a full fledged couple by now, and if Doris didn’t act soon they would be a two in one unit before she knew it! Jimmy the stapler was excited too, this was his first power surge, and he saw Sue the Pencil Sharpener cleaning out her shavings for the evening. His staples clinked together along with the excitement everyone seemed to be feeling… Except Ethel.

Fred had a rough day, and he was looking forward to a night of quick prints and Ethel. Nights like this it was easy to steal some good inks without anyone noticing, but he was trying to be a new printer now. He even bought Ethel a new cover to protect her when she was sleeping, he hoped she liked it. As Fred spotted Ethel, he felt a tap on his paper feeder. As he turned to find Doris, he was struck with her shininess. “You really went all out, Doris.” Doris blushed. Here it is; their moment….”Fred”, Doris purred, “I have something to tell you.”

To be continued

As Doris agonizingly plots her way into Fred’s heart and to reveal Ethel’s true image; Fred is fighting his own battle.  Unbeknownst to the ladies, wrapped up in their love schemes, Fred could be found every Thursday night saying these words, “Hello.  My name is Fred.  I am an Ink Smearer.”  He cringed at his own words, his addiction to smearing ink had almost ended his life a few years back.  He was much younger then, and impressionable.  Sally the Copier  had only been his neighbor for a few months, but managed to turn him on the ink smearing, also known as inks or rubs on the street.  He loved her, as short as it lasted, but she left high and dry with a burning for messiness.  The big ones almost ended him, but with the help of the ISA (Ink Smearing Anonymous) he was able to get his ink cartridges back on track.  It still haunted him though, and did not feel strong enough with his weekly support meetings.  He hadn’t told anyone, for fear they may not accept him after knowing his dark past.  Sure, Doris loved him and he knew it, but he couldn’t bear to be without her friendship.  He needed her, depended upon her for her insight and friendship…. or was it more he sometimes questioned.  He quickly put those thoughts away as soon as Ethel came into sight.  She was so sleek, slender, and modern.  Just the thought of her touchscreen made his  papers shudder.  Could she ever except him for the ex-inks addicted printer that he is?  He didn’t want to know… at least not right now.

To be continued….

Based on the untrue story regarding the imaginative happenings within the fictionalized character…. Farah, a clerk.

Fred the printer hummed along while spewing out sheet after sheet, full of beautiful graphs, charts, and confidential information.  He loved producing crisp, warm pieces of paper while they shot out of him.  It gave him purpose, efficacy, and warmth as the motors hummed within him.  He was not the only one who notice his warm blankets of soon-to-be trash.  Doris the image viewer could be caught taking in the glorious sight through her magnifiers.  Her secret desire for Fred burned right down to her bulbs.  She had tried everything to get his attention, even letting one of her bulbs go out.  He barely noticed; too concerned with his paper outage he turned to power save mode in a fit of frustration.  One day, a horrific day according to Doris, Ethel the scanner was introduced to their dwellings.  Fred immediately took notice, spewing his papers toward her.  Ethel was pleased with this immediate attention, and secretly the jealousy she felt from Doris.  Ethel was a taker, a user; gathering information and storing it within herself.  Doris knew this, and cringed at the thought that she may scan Fred for her own personal pleasure; for she produced nothing.   Doris’s images became skewed and distorted with grief as she watched the warming current flow between the two machines.  What must she do get Fred to notice her before it is too late?

To be continued…..